Love and since
by rainydayB
Summary: Another attempt at a better summary. Edward never came back, Bella endures a terrible past, and now, they met up again, both now vampires. What will happen? Nothing typical, like the normal Edward-leaves-and-never-comes-back-and-they-meet-up-years-later.
1. Prologue – Reciting

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AN: I would be very amiss if I don't acknowledge the work my beta, Gabby, had put in. Thank you so much!

**Prologue – Reciting.**

It has been seventy years. Seventy years since he last kissed me. Seventy years since he last hugged me. Seventy years since he had said good bye.

At first, I couldn't handle it. I couldn't do anything, because everything reminded me of him. Even his name hurt. I had almost gone into catatonic status. Yes, that how bad it was. My mind had managed to shut down.

You must be thinking of how pathetic I came to be, not being able to exist without a guy.

But he wasn't just some guy. He wasn't some blonde haired, good-looking jock who ruled Forks High School. He was Edward, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, the non-attention seeking, perfect gentleman (and a vampire).

It's not a joke. Mythical creatures like werewolves and vampires actually do exist. I would know. My best friend and ex-husband was a werewolf and I also dated a vampire. Seven vampires were the center of my world and I had seen them in action. I had even wished to become one. Truth, thought, I never got the ending I wanted. In fact, it never was for me. I could still remember my human childhood, remember the place where I never got the ice-cream flavor that I wanted. I still remembered that I was never able to run around in the neighborhood freely and wait for my mother to call for dinner. Firstly, I was very clumsy and secondly, my mother couldn't face responsibility, but, of course, someone had to do the job. Someone had to remember to pay the bills, buy the groceries, and cook for dinner.

Sometimes, in anger, I wished that I could just go up to Edward, and tell him how he I felt. But when my logical side returned, I knew every word he had said was right; I was just some ordinary human who should consider herself lucky that I was even let me into his world. But being logical didn't stop the pain, it was an agony that hurt worse than Laurent's vampire venom, the venom that had ran through my veins sixty-five years ago. Yet I couldn't make myself regret the decision to come to Forks in the first place. I still think of it as the best decision made during my human life.

Once, a vampire told me that I am rich, richer than most vampires because of my possession of my human memories. My reply to that was to laugh bitterly. I couldn't help it. Does anyone, want to go through rest of eternity thinking about her responsible childhood, her old love, her dead daughter and her cruel ex-husband?

I remember the moment when I discovered Edward had indeed took away everything. The photos and his gifts. At that moment, everything sank in. He was gone. He was not coming back. That pain was so strong, it had caused me to fall literally. But there was also a tinge of disappointment. It was memorable, because it had stood out against the sea of agony. I was disappointed, disappointed that I had fewer things to remember him. All I had left were memories. I hold on to the memories like they were my children.

I let out a laugh. It was acidic. Full of what I am, what I feel. Mentally, I slapped myself. I knew I shouldn't have lost myself in my thoughts. Again.

Sighing, I got up from the couch, grabbed my car keys, and then headed toward Portland High School.


	2. Chapter 1 – Bella’s story, part 1

**Chapter 1 – Bella's story, part one.**

Edward's POV

My eyes full of resentment, I glared at my family, who were sitting around me. Everyone was blocking their thoughts, and no one dared to meet my gaze, not even Rosalie. After a while, Carlisle spoke up.

"Edward, you've spent 30 years in that house. Alice saw it; it's going to collapse next week!" He took a deep breath, "Look, it's been sixty five years now."

I let out an audible growl. Carlisle looked at me cautiously before continuing his speech. "You love her. We all love her. But Edward, you cannot keep on mourning Bel-"

At that point I stood up and threw Esme's coffee table across the room. It hit the grand piano, causing the lid to break off. But I didn't care at that moment. Nothing mattered then, except my anger. I felt the bitter anger running through my body and I was sure my irises had changed to a deep black. And then I couldn't stop the flow of harsh words flowing from my mouth.

"DON'T SAY HER NAME! YOU ARE MY FAMILY; YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CARE ABOUT ME! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE! LET ME WALLOW UP IN MY PATHETIC WORLD! I DON'T WANT PITY! I DON'T WANT TO PRETEND THAT I AM HUMAN! I AM SICK OF ALL THIS PRETENDING! WHY CAN'T I JUST GO TO ITALY AND END MY MISERABLE EXISTENCE!" I shouted, oblivious that our hearing was more sensitive.

I panted heavily for air that I had no use of, and, for the hundredth time, I wished that Carlisle did not bite me. Anything would have to be better than this, an endless existence without my angel.

Ignoring the hurt and shock on my family's faces, I ran outside. I needed to do something, anything, to let the built up emotions out.

I ran deeper into the forest, looking for a human free zone.

**Bella's POV**

Parking my car on the furthest parking spot available, I lowered the windows, sniffing the air for any signs of Austin. Austin Hals had been my personal stalker ever since he had 'accidentally' bumped into me on my 'first day of school'. I breathed a sigh of relief when I couldn't smell his scent. Today must be my lucky day.

Smiling to myself, I rolled up the windows, grabbed my bag and headed toward my locker. I had arrived with five minutes to spare. As I walked past the students, I noticed that they were all gathered together, talking. Curious, I stopped at my locker, doing things extra slow, and listened to other people's conversations. At times like this vampire hearing becomes useful. Although the hall was very noisy, every word was easily understandable.

"…yeah. The new kids are hot! I saw them when I had to go to the office that day to run an errand for Cowell. And I started fanning myself when I saw the blonde girl,." hooted a jock to his fellow friends.

"… their first day of school today," that came from a cheerleader nearer to them.

"… smart. Never had a grade lower than A on their reports. Can you believa that?" A chess clubber asked angrily, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

I stopped listening. Apparently today was the first day for some new kids. It was rather rare to get new students in this town, so small town gossip would start, and last for a week, of course.

Frowning, I grabbed what I needed then headed toward English. Quietly, I put my stuff down next Susannah.

There was something about Susannah Bell. Every time I saw her, it pained me physically. She had the same pink lips and the same shade of light brown hair as my daughter had. It took everything in me not to cry whenever I see her.

"Good morning Bell, how are you today?" I asked, smiling.

She smiled, "Fine, thank you." She stretched out, "Did you hear about the new kids?"

I felt my grin wither slightly; not her too. "Actually, no. I haven't been paying attention."

She looked at me like I was crazy. "Are you serious? Ever since a Pop-o saw them two days ago, everyone has been talking about how hot they are."

I forced myself to let out a dry laugh. "No. I guess I have been living in my own world."

She stared at me for a second, and then shrugged. "Oh. I guess. Sometimes fantasy is better than reality. But you need to wake up sometimes." She teased, poking me lightly on the head. I grimaced; she had no idea how right she was. Quickly, I composed my face.

Luckily I didn't have to reply. Mr. Sealey had started class.

I knew it wasn't okay to have gotten so close to a human. It would only be harder for me when I leave in a few years time. But I couldn't help it; this – this relationship with Susannah – in a way, was making up the time I had never had with my daughter. She treated me like I was her big sister. Susannah had accepted me for me – not as a weirdo, not as a vampire, but as me, Bella Swan. Bell had lost her mother when she was five, and right now was living with her father Dennis Bell, who taught her that every fairytale is a lie since the age of six, because his heart was broken by Bell's mother.

Because I care about her, I didn't intend for her to ever find out my secret. Partly, it's for my sake, too. What would she think of me when she found out what I really am? The monster I am? I shuddered. For my own selfish reasons, I would never tell her, even if guilt was eating my guts out, even if she did deserve to know about the truth behind who her sister-figure really is.

Someone tapped my shoulder, making me jump. I turned around; it was the very person of my thoughts.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. Class is over," Susannah said, worry etched on her face, "Are you okay? From before I mean." She said, her face full of unnecessary guilt.

I frowned. She was much too observant. In fact, I was surprised that she still hadn't figured out what I really am. And then I smiled, for her. "Oh no, it's nothing. I was lost in my thoughts. Again. I guess we should go to class. I'll see you at lunch." Cautiously, I hugged her before I left.

Surprisingly, I did not have one class with any one of the new kids. But according to the students who had, they were 'smokin' hot'. I laughed at the use of words. Kids these days.

And then lunch, my favorite class. I walked outside of the Spanish classroom to wait for Susannah.

"You ready to go?" I said, my lips twisted into a smile. My smiles were always natural whenever I see her.

"Yes. I'm feeling hungry." She stated. As if proving her words, her stomach started to growl loudly. "And my stomach agrees with me." She said, patting it fondly. I laughed at her childishness.

We walked into the cafeteria. As usual, hundreds of scents hit me. But today, something was new. The scents were new, but familiar. I frowned; familiarity meant that I had to move soon.

As someone else entered the room, a gust of wind blew in, wafting my scent. Out of the corner of my eyes I sensed three heads looking up in my direction.

It was them. I took a deep breath. There was no way I could hide now that they saw me. I felt myself relax slightly as when I realized Edward and Emmett weren't there. That's two less people to stop me.

And then Alice, Jasper and Rosalie ran over – as fast as possible at human speed – and stopped within five meters of me.

"Bella?" Alice whispered, unsure I was really there.

I stared at them, trying to control my wild emotions.

Susannah snapped her fingers in front my face, "Hello? Bella, are you okay?" She asked, her gaze running from me to the Cullens.

Getting my composure back quickly, I knew I couldn't handle meeting them right now. I addressed Susannah with the most persuasive voice I had, "Yes, let's go to lunch."

Before I even moved, Jasper reached out and grabbed my arm. "Bella, come with us, we need to talk," he said and I realized this has been the closest I've ever been to him.

Susannah eyed the people I was with, and then decided to abandon me. "Well, I'm getting lunch. Bye Bella." She walked away, shooting a glance at me.

I shook my head, trying to shake enough logic back into it to handle the situation.

"Bella, please, let's go somewhere private." Alice begged. I looked around at the room; a lot of curious and jealous eyes were on me. How I had wished that I was in their place instead!

Nodding, I gestured for her to lead the way.

Alice led me to a spare classroom before she tackled me with a hug. I didn't hug her back. I didn't dare to let myself get close again when they were going to leave again. I had promised myself that after I had changed. This was one promise I was going to keep.

Ignoring the look of hurt on Alice's face, I spoke to the three vampires in front of me.

"Look, let's just get this over and done with. What do you guys want?" I asked, ice ringing in my tone and taking over my face. I could fool everyone with lies, but Jasper was going to be tricky.

"Bella, we just want to talk to you, we want to catch up." Alice said, panic clear on her face. I bet she had already seen my decision.

"What do you want to know? Let's get this over and done with." I repeated my earlier words.

"Bella, please, let's go back to my house. Please. Esme and Carlisle would love to see you again. Our family hasn't been the same." Alice pleaded.

Rosalie spoke up, shocking me. "Bella, I know we hadn't exactly had been friends in the past. I know I've hurt your feelings many times. I just want to say," She took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for every hurtful thing I've ever done to you. After we left, I realized, for the first time that you changed our family a lot. I miss you. Please, Esme would really love to see you, she mourned like she had lost a daughter when she heard about your death. Please, if not for us, come and see Esme."

I felt my determination melt. That was the longest speech I've ever heard Rosalie say. And did she say sorry? I relaxed my 'mask', and then sighed.

"Okay."

I followed their car to a house that looked similar to the one in Forks. I flinched; that house had too many memories.

We walked inside with Alice leading the way.

"Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Edward! You'll never guess who's here!" Alice yelled, bouncing.

Esme, Carlisle and Emmett appeared on top of the stairs. They looked at Alice, and then froze when they saw me.

"Bella? Is that really you?" Esme asked, rubbing her eyes.

I nodded, forcing myself to smile. I heard a door upstairs bash open, and out came the Greek God.

He hadn't changed. He still looked like the perfect angel I had fallen in love with so many years ago. Except, he seemed to have aged. But quickly, I realized it was because of his dark eyes, and the circles underneath them seemed to be blacker.

There was a look of shock on his perfect face. In his eyes – although the irises were pitch black – showed love and lust. And he was staring at me. However, I didn't dare let myself hope. I wouldn't be able to handle it when he leaves me again. I knew he would. Besides, I didn't deserve him. I wasn't clean. That thought made me look away.

From what I could hear, Edward began to descend down the stairs, following Esme and Carlisle. He then seated himself on a single sofa. I felt his gaze on me the whole time, as if I was a blue moon.

"Bella, how are you?" Carlisle asked, his voice full of warmth. For the first time, I looked at him. He appeared to be tired, much more tired than I had ever seen him.

"Fine, thank you, Carlisle." I answered politely.

"Let's take a seat." He pointed at the huge sofa, smiling.

Everyone began to seat themselves. I took a single seat opposite Edward, and Rosalie sat next to me. For the first time since I had entered the Cullens' house, I smiled naturally at her. She smiled back, relief and happiness obvious on her magnificent face.

Emmett, before sitting next to Rose, gave me a one arm hug and a goofy grin.

"You'll be getting a proper hug from me later." He promised, still grinning.

"Don't think I'll be leaving without my hug." I teased. He smiled wider.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Well Bella, can you please explain what happened? We thought you were dead," he asked.

I knew I would have to tell them my past. I sighed, "Before I begin, I should warn you. This story isn't a happy one. You should know before you decide if you want to listen to this or not. " I warned them.

"Bella, you know we are interested in anything you do. We care about you." Esme smiled at me, encouraging me to continue.

Feeling slightly more confident, I began talking before the small amount of courage evaporated. "When you guys left, I didn't take it well. In fact, that's putting it lightly. But I won't go into details." Edward winced. I glanced curiously at him before continuing.

"After a few months, I had met up with an old friend called Jacob Black, from La Push–," I was interrupted by Jasper.

"Wait, isn't La Push where Carlisle found werewolves?" he asked, looking at Carlisle who was nodding.

I smiled half heartedly. "Yes. Jacob became a werewolf."

Alice looked shocked. "But, Bella, he must have been a new werewolf at the time! Do you know how dangerous that is?" She asked, frowning at the same time.

I felt myself snapping; how dare she question my actions? "Aren't vampires as mythical as werewolves? What gives one the right to question the other's control? As far as I'm concerned, both sides had hurt me equally. I wasn't safe from anyone."

Alice recoiled as if I had slapped her. Immediately I felt guilty. "I'm sorry Alice that was out of line. Please forgive me."

She wiggled out of Jasper's lap, then engaged me in a hug. "Of course I forgive you! You are right anyway. I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have left Forks, and most of all, left you. I should be the one asking for forgiveness," she said.

"Let's put the past behind us, and start anew. It's all the past." I smiled at her.

"Yes!" She squealed, jumping off my lap. The Cullens and I laughed together.

"Sorry, Bella, for the interruption, please continue." Carlisle said.

I took a deep breath. I was glad for the distraction. "Okay. At first, I seemed to be healing. I no longer screamed in my sleep. I felt safe. Eventually, I began to fall in love with Jacob. And a week later, Jacob and I got married," I paused, then glanced at Edward, who seemed to be gripping the arm of the sofa tightly. Suddenly he stood up, and headed toward the door.

"No, Edward, you have better manners than that. Please come back and sit down, and apologize." Carlisle ordered, glaring at Edward.

Slowly, Edward made his way back to the sofa, his eyes still shut tight. A moment later, he regained his composure and spoke calmly.

"I'm sorry Bella. I don't know what gotten over me. Please accept my apology." He said.

"That's okay. You don't have to listen." I smiled at him to show there were no hard feelings.

"No, I would like to listen, if you don't mind me. Please continue." He insisted.

"Charlie approved, Renee was, well, Renee. She did everything she could to talk me out of the marriage. But I was determined, and you all know how stubborn I can be." Emmett laughed. "For a few months, life was almost back to normal. Well, at least I was no longer zombie-like. Jake had brought some sunshine back into my life. Not a lot, but enough. He made me laugh every day." I couldn't help but smiled at the memory.

"I should have known," I let out a bitter laugh, "that with my luck, I would never be able to have a happily-ever-after ending. Two weeks after the honeymoon, Emily – Emily Uley, the imprint and wife of Sam Uley, who was the leader of the pack, held a birthday party for Sam. Of course, Jake and I went. I remember him staring at Emily's younger sister, Jade Young. I ignored it, thinking he was looking for someone in the busy crowd. How naive of me." I said sourly.

"Ever since that day, Jake always seemed to be in and out, patrolling even when it wasn't his turn. At first, I wasn't suspicious; I had trusted him. One day, though, he just dropped the news on me. First, he handed me a folder and a pen, and then he said, and I quote, 'Bella, I've imprinted. I'm sorry, but I'm not able to love you anymore. It hurts not to be with her. Please sign these papers so we can get divorced.'" My voice was quiet. A low murmur, but still comprehensible.

"Jacob had always been the straight type of person. He didn't like to talk a lot when he could just get his point across. Naturally, I was shocked, and hurt. 'Who?' I had asked. I'm sure you can guess my answer. It was Jade Young." I bit my lip, trying to regain control.

"That bastard!" Emmett hissed. "I'll kill him!"

"Emmett, please calm down. He's dead already," I said, receiving quizzical looks from the rest of the Cullens, "I'll explain later."

"Sorry Bella," he apologized as he sat back down.

Refusing to meet anyone's gaze, I took a deep breath and looked down, keeping my tone barely loud enough to hear.

"So I packed. I grabbed what was mine, not what we shared; I didn't want any memories. Then I left the house driving my red truck and I went to Charlie's house. Charlie was disappointed in Jacob, so disappointed that he refused to talk to Jacob. In fact, he refused to talk whenever Jake was in the room. Unsurprisingly, I fell back into the zombie-mode, worse than ever. A few nights later, Charlie gave me two options. Either go back to normal – going to college – or move back to Renee's. I didn't blame him; he, as a father, couldn't take away my pain. He couldn't stand to not do anything helpful and keep on watching his little girl suffer. And I didn't want him to suffer with me, although his pain was different to mine. He didn't deserve the consequences of my bad choices. To relive him, I picked option one. I got a student loan, and then moved to Seattle to attend the local college there."

"That first night, I got dragged to a college party with some girls I thought could be friends. Deciding to be stupid, I chugged down a couple of bottles of beer. Of course, I got drunk. I remembered when I woke up, I was lying on a white sheet, naked and my body was sore. Nine months later, I gave birth to a baby girl. Her name was Elizabeth, Elizabeth Rolisme Swan."

"You had a daughter?" Rosalie asked, her tone full of astonishment.

"Yes. She had the most adorable lips, and her hair was a light brown shade. She was beautiful." I smiled as I remembered the first time I held her.

"Where is she now?" Rosalie inquired, eager.

The smile on my face slit off. I tried to compose my shaking shoulders. "S-she's dead." I whispered.

I felt someone approaching me. Holding my hand up, I stopped them. "Please," I croaked. "Just give me a moment."

Wrapping my arms around my legs, I began to dry sob.


	3. Chapter 2 Bella's story, part 2

**Chapter two – Bella's story, part two  
**  
Uncontrollably, I sobbed dryly. For the first time in years, I let out the feelings that I had buried long ago. My baby's life was cut short and not only that, but she was brutally murdered. As if reminding me, that memory which I had been doing all I can to repress appeared.

Flashback

The middle-aged bald man snatched my baby from me.

"NO! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! JUST DON'T HURT HER!" I screamed.

He smiled at me ruthlessly, and then spoke patiently, "Oh, beautiful, then you will give me what I want. If you don't then know that the consequence will be worse. I ain't worried about that. But what I'm going to do will give me satisfaction I haven't had for twenty years."

He raised Elizabeth high, and then merciless dropped her fragile body onto the ground. He kicked her little body as she slammed into the wall.

By this point I was screaming hysterically. I tried to calm down, tried to think logically about what I should do. But I couldn't. I dropped to the ground, still screaming, and tried to get closer to Elizabeth. However, all I could manage was crawling on all fours.

"SHUT UP BITCH!" The man roared, his patience finally ran out. He kicked me hard and then he dragged me by my hair to another room.

End flashback.

Sobbing even harder, I found the hatred for my 'gift' doubled. I hated how I could remember everything crystal clear. How can God be so cruel?

"Who was that piece of shit?" Emmett snarled. I stopped sobbing briefly. I didn't realize that I had used my power; with the memory package I can project memories as well.

Looking up, I had realized that the eyes of all Cullens had turned to a deep black. Esme was growling. I was stunned; petite motherly Esme growling?

But pity was something I didn't want from anyone. I had learned to be independent. At the thought of pity in their eyes, I immediately pulled myself together.

"I'm sorry, you weren't meant to see that. I was too emotional to control my power. I'm sorry." I apologized, composing my composure.

"Bella, you have nothing to be sorry about. Please, just tell us his name and he'll be dead by this time tomorrow." Edward promised, baring his teeth at no one in particular.

"I agree." Carlisle said. I was surprised; Carlisle has always been a nonviolent person

"Bella, would you like to take a break?" Jasper asked. Thank god for the empathy.

"Yes." I answered, standing up.

"Why don't I show you a tour of the house?" Esme offered.

"That would be nice. Thank you." I needed to leave; I couldn't handle the pity or anger stares any longer.

"I'm coming!" Alice announced. She grabbed my hand, and then we followed Esme.

As I left the room, I couldn't help but glance at Edward. He was staring at his lap, his eyes shut tight. What does he think of me now? Still the innocent Bella Swan he had met all those years ago?

"Bella, when was that?" Alice asked softly, interrupting me from my thoughts.

"Twelve hours before my change." I said tonelessly.

They said nothing else about the subject, for which I was grateful. I knew, eventually, they would know the whole story, but at that moment, I couldn't handle it. A break was crucially necessary for me.

After ten minutes, me in awe by the work of Esme, we went back into the living room. Everyone was sitting in the same spot as before. They looked at me patiently, waiting to hear the rest of my past.

I can do this. I can do this, I chanted in my head. "It was difficult during the pregnancy. Naturally, hurtful remarks came my way every day. School was getting harder and harder. However, I had managed to finish my four-year course. And then I moved, trying to get a job as a teacher. My luck, of course, I didn't get any teaching jobs. So I worked as a waitress; there was enough money for food, rent and Elizabeth's childcare if I worked hard enough." I stopped briefly.

"One night, after I picked Elizabeth up from her childcare, she was really hungry. Elizabeth had always been small for her age, which made it easier for me to carry her. So I picked her up, and took a short cut. That was the night when s-she had g-g-gone." I choked on the last word.

"That memory you saw was a part of the night. This time, I lost the will to live. After he," I snarled at the pronoun, "passed out, I reached for my clothes, then I went to see my daughter. My bet wasn't high for any chance that she might be alive. And I was scared. I didn't know if I could handle seen my baby, dead and broken. But I had to; if she was still alive then that meant I still had a responsibility. I wouldn't be able to leave this world." I took a deep breath. "So I checked. I managed to check for her pulse." I wrapped my arm around my torso, trying to minimize the hole in my chest. "I-It wasn't there. I ran back to where I had lived, which was three blocks away from the factory where the," I looked for the right word, "violence happened. Grabbing the paycheck I hadn't deposited yet, I caught a taxi and went to Forks. I wanted to see the meadow one last time before I killed myself. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw Laurent was there. He said he had been looking for me for a few years now, in favor to Victoria. Then he wasted no time and bit me. His plan was to suck me dry."

"If it weren't for the wolves, I would have died. Soon after, the wolves had arrived, they ripped Laurent off me. They destroyed him there. I remember Sam telling me he was sorry. He moved me to the mountains, where I stayed for years to control my thirst. After ten years, I finally mastered control. The reason that my control over thirst was so easy is because of my conditions when I come in contact with blood when I was a human. You all know how I was with blood when I was human," I said.

"The moment I left the mountain, I thought of nothing but revenge. Those violent memories had been playing repeatedly in my first years because I couldn't control my power–," Carlisle interrupted me.

"Sorry Bella, but what is your power?" He asked.

"Memory. I can remember everything that happened in my life, including my human life. I could also project my memories." I answered.

"That's fascinating," Carlisle mused, "My apologies, Bella, please continue."

I nodded to Carlisle, and then I continued, my voice turning dark. "I hunted down the man who killed Elizabeth. I made sure his death was much more painful than what he did to me that day. The pain I had caused him seemed tiny compared to the agony he had caused me mentally." I looked up and faced a lot of stunned faces. Of course, this was one side of Bella Swan that they had never seen, not even Edward. I continued, defending my actions.

"I don't regret my decision. This is what I am now. This is what vampires do. We are meant to kill humans so we can survive. I have only ever killed one person," I scoffed, "if you could really call him human. Turned out he was in jail for twenty years after murdering two toddlers. Just my luck, I was the first person he met after his release."

"After that, I began to work twenty four hours a day. Once I had saved enough, I began to follow the only good vampire examples I had. Go to high school, pretend to be human, and leave in a few years time. After a while, I got sick of high school, so I went to college. I have a few degrees now." I finished. I didn't look up as I waited for them to say something.

"Oh Bella!" Esme said, hugging me. "I'm so sorry dear. We should have never left."

"It's okay; it's not anyone's fault but mine." I looked at them all sincerely. "I shouldn't have been so reckless and trusting."

"Bella, none of this is your fault. Okay, drinking was probably not the best idea but, I repeat, none of this is your fault. None of it.." Edward said, pain burning in his eyes. I felt confusion forming on my facial expression; why was he pained?

"Yeah, Bella, Edward's right. Well, since I can't take care of any of those bastards that hurt you, can I go and prank Hals, your personal stalker?" Emmett grinned, cracking his finger joints.

"How did you know about Hals?" I stared at him; perplexity was obvious on my face.

Rose answered me. "Oh, someone mentioned something about them" she pointed at herself, Jasper and Alice "looking just like the other one. Of course, I had to work my charm" She sighed, mocking exasperation, "Apparently, it's a common knowledge that Austin Hals, the school captain of the football team has been in love with Bella Swan ever since she started school here. But we didn't think it would be the same Bella Swan."

"Of course, I won't prank him, if you like him." Emmett grinned, joking.

I flinched. I knew he didn't mean it that way but I imagined the double meaning. It brought back memories of my past.

Rosalie noticed. She smacked Emmett's shoulder, hard. "Out of all the jokes, why that one?" She hissed.

Her husband looked bewildered. And then his jaw dropped when he got it. "I'm so sorry Bella; I didn't mean it that way. Please forgive me." He begged.

"It's fine. Sorry, that's just a sensitive topic." I said quietly.

"We understand Bella. We won't bring it up again." Carlisle apologized.

"Bella, what happened to Jacob?" Alice questioned.

"He was on a plane with Jade one day. There was an accident. He could have survived but he used his body as a shield and protected Jade. They were falling from ten thousand meters from the sky. It didn't work; they both died." I answered.

No one seemed to know – or dared – to reply to that. Not even Emmett, although he was hiding his face in Rose's lap.

"Bella, can you stay for the evening? Please? We can have sooo much fun! We can watch a movie, have some girl time please?" Alice begged, pouting. I smacked my head in frustration; Alice's sad expressions were something even the toughest vampires couldn't resist.

Sighing, I gave her my answer. "Fine. But I need to hunt first." What I really needed was some time alone; hunting was just an excuse.

"Go ahead dear. Do you want any of us to come with you?" Esme offered.

"No thank you. I prefer to hunt alone." I gave the group a small smile – which they all returned – and then ran to the forest next to the Cullen's home.

Deer were the first animals I found. Quickly, I snapped its neck and fed. Once I was done, I cleaned up, and then went for a long walk.

What can I do now? What do I do now? Frustrated, I massaged my temple. I knew my decision would completely be based on how the Cullens felt about me. Or, more specifically, what Edward felt about me.

I sighed; I knew my decision already. I would stay, stay for as long as they want, but leave as soon as one of them shows unpleasantness toward me; I didn't want to intrude their family, or scar myself again, knowing I would be able to remember it for the rest of eternity. Sighing again, I began to make my way back to the Cullen's mansion.

"BELLA!" Alice squealed as soon as I entered the house. She gave me a bone-crashing hug, smiling as if we haven't seen each others in years, not hours.

"Hi, Alice." I returned her hug. I looked around the room, and was disappointed when I couldn't see Edward. I opened my mouth, about to ask when I was cut off by Emmett, who just came into the room.

"How's my favorite ex-human? Where's my hug? You still owe me a hug, you know." Emmett boomed, pouting. I laughed; a pout on a humongous Emmett looked hilarious.

Still laughing, I went up to him and hugged him. He, in return, gave me one of his famous bear hugs.

"It's good. I no longer need to breathe." I said, rubbing my ribs.

"It's good you're no longer breakable, so now I could just give you a proper hug instead of the ones you've got as a human. Those hugs were what I call the Human Version of Bear Hugs." Emmett wrinkled his nose. I laughed again; good old Emmett and his lame jokes.

"Bella, where's mine?" Rosalie asked, foraging hurt.

"Of course I wouldn't forget you." I hugged her, smiling. I really could get used to the fact that I'm on good terms with Rosalie.

"Bella, can I have a hug dear?" Esme asked.

"Of course." I gave her a hug too. It felt like 'National Hugging Bella' day.

"Well, does anyone else want a hug?" I joked.

"I DO!" Alice yelled.

We laughed at Alice. Rosalie and Esme shook their heads.

"You've already had one." I smiled.

"I want another one!" Alice ran up to me and hugged me.

"Well, let's watch a movie! Girls only." Alice added, ignoring Emmett's pout. I bit my lip to stop the laughter.

"But that's not fair! How come only girls can bond with Bella?" Emmett asked, fuming.

"Well, because if you're there, you would start making out with Rose halfway through the movie. No actually, you won't make it that far. You'll start making out with her as soon as the lights are switched off." Alice said, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Fine. But you owe me a game later on the play station." Emmett said to me.

"Sure. Be ready to get your butt kicked." I warned.

"Oh no, Bella, Emmett takes his games seriously." Jasper laughed.

"Yeah grasshopper, so be ready and watch the master of Halo kick YOUR butt." Emmett grinned, his face clearly showed that he was full of confidence.

"We'll see." I promised.

"Let's waste no time! Come on, upstairs in my room." Alice danced toward the stairs, pulling me along.

All night was spent talking and laughing with Esme, Rosalie and Alice. It wasn't until it was half past seven I realized that school was about to start. I began to panic; what would the humans think about my car being at school all night?

"Oh shoot, school's starting in fifteen minutes. My car's still there and-," I was cut off by Alice.

"Relax Bella. It's all been taken care of. Last night Jasper borrowed your car keys so he could drive the car here. I hope you don't mind. As for clothing, you can borrow something of mine; we're basically the same size." Alice said.

I felt relieved. "No, it's fine. Thank you."

"No trouble at all Bella. Now let's get ready for school." Alice grinned.

"I'll leave you here girls." Esme got up and left.

Five minutes later, with everyone ready, we left the house, with me thanking Esme for letting me intrude their home as a parting.

"Nonsense, Bella. We're almost family. Come back soon sweetheart." Esme said gently.

"Thanks again." I smiled at her.

As I drove to school by myself -it would have looked to suspicious to the humans if I arrived with any of the Cullens – I had the feeling something bad was going to happen. Life would never connect me with happiness for too long.


	4. Chapter 3 Edward

**Chapter 3, Edward's story**

Edward's POV

I stared unseeingly at the forest scene in front of me. Birds were chirping. The wind was blowing. Everything seemed so full of life and empty of pain. It seemed ironic, as if God was making fun what I had undergone. Yet I could not conjure the anger, for at that moment, I was empty of emotions.

A different scent, which could be oh-so-comforting to a child, drifted to my nose along with the smell of the forest. I recognized it at once; it was Esme's scent, and she was approaching me. However, I made no movement to greet my mother, or attempt to hear her thoughts. I sat there like a statue, unmoving.

Quietly, she sat down next to me, gazing at me. I didn't look at her.

"Your eyes are _empty_." She spoke softly, her voice quivered on the last word. It wasn't an accusation, nor insult, but a statement.

I didn't respond.

"Edward, please don't ignore me." She begged, her tone slightly louder. I sighed, and then turned my head, giving her my full attention. Mentally, I cursed myself. Isn't a vampire supposed to be strong? Why does it hurt to see Esme in pain?

Hesitantly, she placed on hand on my shoulder. Esme took it as a good sign that I did not shake it off. "I know you must hate us at the moment–," she began.

"I don't." My reply was simple. Realizing how cold it sounded, I tried to smile, but my facial muscles weren't cooperating.

"Edward. I know this is hard," she said, "It wasn't easy – and it still isn't. We weren't coping, especially you. But, please," she let out a small sob, "We've already lost her, and we can't lose you as well. I can't lose you. Life is dreadful enough without her." At this point, she could contain herself no longer. She began to dry sob loudly. I put my arms around her, embracing her into a hug. She, in return, rested her forehead on my shoulder.

It was inconceivably hard not to join in with Esme, for her emotion had alighted mine. But I had managed, for this was the last piece of pride I had left.

A few minutes later, Esme calmed down. She sat up, and turned her body so that it faced me entirely. "Please, just try and live normally. Just try for our family. For me. Please Edward," she pleaded.

I thought back over the past decades. With a stab of guilt, I had realized the family had not been the same. Even Emmett – nothing-could-ever-bother-me-Emmett – had ceased to show his sense of humor. And it was my fault; if only I had not left Forks, left my- Stop! I told myself harshly. I wanted after all for Bella to lead a healthy, human life. Hopefully, she got it.

Frustrated, I gripped my hair. I knew I could not hurt my mother any longer. Esme was in pain, although it wasn't physical, it hurt just as bad. My resolution was already diminished, for I could not stand seeing Esme like this.

"Yes, I'll try." I whispered.

"That's all I can ask for." She gave me a hug. "Are you ready to go back?"

"Yes." I sighed. I owed everyone an apology for my earlier behavior.

"All but Emmett and Carlisle had stayed at home today. Everyone else went to school."

"Oh." I answered.

"Let's go sweetheart." Gently, Esme gripped my hand and she began to run, slightly pulling me along. Quickly, I quickened my pace and ran with her.

Carlisle and Emmett, unsurprisingly, forgave me for my earlier behavior. Although my words were rather stiff, they had accepted it happily. Emmett even joked, pressing a slight emotion of surprise out of me.

The gloomy weather was obvious, shown through the window in my bedroom. Miserably, I picked up the remote, and changed to Clair De Lune, hoping to lose myself in some memories that I had shared with my angel.

Suddenly, Alice's 'inner voice' was audible. She was singing Wannabe, the most absurd song of the pop world, backwards.

Soon, Jasper and Rosalie's 'inner voices' appeared as well. They too were blocking their minds. I frowned; this cannot be good. I moved near the window, ready to throw myself out if necessary.

"Esme! Carlisle! Emmett! Edward! You'll never guess who's here!" Alice yelled. I rolled my eyes, but could not help but been surprised; Alice had not shown this much enthusiasm in a very long time.

Immediately, the doors to their separate rooms cracked open, and their footsteps rang.

"Bella? Bella Swan? Is that really you?" I could hear Esme's voice.

Bella?

Nothing could describe my feelings and thoughts at that moment. Shock, anger, sadness, calm, joy and surprise charged my emotions in a matter of seconds. It was too much, and I had to see the scene for myself.

Impatiently, I wrenched the door out of the way. Straight away, her scent hit me. It encouraged me, yet saddened me at the same time. For the first time in a long time, I felt hope. And I could deny myself no longer when I saw my angel again.

She was indeed there, standing. She still had the same shade of chocolate brown hair that I love, and our gaze connected. Immediately I was lost, lost in her beautiful eyes again.

I inhaled deeply, taking in more of her aroma. I had no longer needed to fight back the venom, unlike oh-so-many years ago.

I had no longer needed to fight back the venom. Suddenly, I realized what I had thought. My eyes widen in surprise, then quickly narrowed in anger; whom did this to her?

But I was quickly distracted by her form, her beautiful curve, her beautiful face, and her golden eyes. To my surprise, gold eyes had suited her nicely, if not better than chocolate. I felt a sudden hunger, which I knew it had nothing to do with food.

Then, a slight smile appeared on her face, and to my disappointment, it vanished as soon as it had appeared. She rapidly looked away after that.

But I refused to look away. Who knew if this beautiful woman is an illusion, or the cause of my frequent thoughts?

My eyes still glued on her, I descended the stairs. Not caring where I sat, I sat on the closest seat available. I was barely aware that the entire family was here.

"Bella? How are you?" Carlisle asked. There must have been some mis-communication. She hadn't died, after all. Such good news! He thought.

"Fine thank you Carlisle." She said. I was amazed at how musical her voice sounded.

"Let's take a seat." Carlisle said.

They began to take seats. And then Bella smiled, not the ones she used to give me, but similar enough. Happily, I cherished the bliss of seeing her smile again.

A big blur blocked my vision of Bella. Quickly, I realized it was Emmett. He gave her a one-arm hug. I felt jealous of my brother; why could he get away from hugging Bella, while I, couldn't?

"You'll be getting a proper hug from me later." Emmett said, grinning.

"Don't think I'll be leaving without my hug." She teased. Momentarily, I forgot my annoyance with Emmett and listened to her gentle, soft voice.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Well Bella, how are you?" he asked. _I meant her life for the past seventy years, I know you want to know Edward, we all do._ I nodded slightly in his direction to show my thanks. _You're welcome._

She sighed. "Before I begin, I should warn you. This story isn't a happy one. You should know before you decide if you want to listen to this or not. " On hearing her words, it was as if something grabbed my heart, and squeezed it tight. She had gone through pain? It isn't supposed to happen like that!

"Bella, you know we are interested in anything you do. We care about you." Esme smiled at her.

"When you guys left, I didn't take it well. In fact, that's putting it lightly. But I won't go into details." I winced. I thought she would get over it, for she was only eighteen, a teenage girl. I thought she wouldn't feel the same way.

Curiously, she glanced before continuing. "After a few months, I had met up with an old friend called Jacob Black, from La Push."

Isn't that where the werewolves are? Jasper thought. He then voiced his thoughts.

She smiled, although beautiful as ever, it was half hearted. "Yes. Jacob became a werewolf."

_WHAT?_ Thought Alice. "But, Bella, he must have been a new werewolf at the time! Do you know how dangerous that is?" She asked.

The smile faded from Bella's face. "Aren't vampires as mythical as werewolves? What gives one the right to question the other's control? As far as I'm concerned, both sides had hurt me equally. I wasn't safe from anyone."

I recoiled at the same time Alice had. Bella had every right to say those words, and she was right for us, I, deserved them. I looked down, ashamed.

"I'm sorry Alice that was out of line. Please forgive me." Bella murmured. Mentally, I sighed. Same old Bella who put other people before her, and never concerned with how she feels.

"Of course I forgive you! You are right anyway. I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have left Forks, and most of all, let you. I should be the one asking for forgiveness." Said Alice, after she engaged Bella in an embrace.

"Let's put the past behind us, and start anew. It's all the past." Bella said, a grin occupying her face.

"Yes!" Alice squealed. Everyone laughed.

"Sorry, Bella, for the interruption, please continue." Carlisle said.

She took a deep breath, then spoke, while she fidgeted with the corner of her top. "Okay. At first, I seemed to be healing. I no longer screamed in my sleep. I felt safe. Eventually, I fell in love. And a week later, Jacob and I got married."

My Bella got married?! Married? My thoughts screamed. I knew I couldn't stay in the room for any longer, for the fear that I would break another piece of Esme's furniture. Abruptly, I stood up, and headed toward the door quiet quickly.

"No, Edward, you have better manners than that. Please come back and sit down, and apologize." Carlisle ordered.

The simple action, of just going back and sitting down, it had taken more self control than what I had used when I first met Bella. I fought to regain my composure, and then I apologized, with miraculous calm in my tone.

"That's okay. You don't have to listen." She smiled at me. I was relieved; I had all but wanted her to be angry with me.

I insisted that I would love to listen to the rest of her history.

The next few hours, was spent listening to Bella's story. Now that I think about it, I pity Jasper, for my emotions were on a roller coaster. It is difficult to go into details; I was sure that at least ten different emotions had passed through me.

And I had to literally, grip my legs so that I couldn't go and comfort her when she sobbed. And the memory she accidentally revealed to us, I was numb with pain and anger. None of that was meant to happen. I left her – left my only source of true happiness, left my true love – so she could have a normal life. A life without mythical creatures, a life that is normal, with children and a human husband. I knew, by making the decision to leave, that I was ruining my existence, but I had to do something to try and let Bella live in her human world. A normal life. It seemed that her life would have been better if I didn't leave her; we both would have been very happy.

I have been proud of her for revenging. I have been proud that she was finally standing up for herself. In my opinion, what the man got was nothing compared to if I could get my hands on him.

And it is ridiculous she should feel that everything was her fault. If there was someone to blame, it would be I.

That night, she stayed after Alice unleashed her 'eye power' on Bella. I wanted more than anything to embrace her in my arms, but I knew it wasn't acceptable anymore. So I had left the house, and didn't return until the morning for school. I only had so much self control.

I couldn't live without her. So I will try, and do everything in my power to have her back. That is, if only she wants me. She needs, and deserves to be happy, my Bella.


	5. Sorry

AN

Hey everyone

I woud like to say, I am EXTREMELY SORRY for not updating in God-know-how-long. At the moment, I'm on a huge writer's block. If ANYONE have ANY IDEAS, please please please please let me know.

Also, I would like to apologize to anyone who thought this is an update.

I'm going to China today. Not joking. So when I come back, I hope my email box will be full of suggestions. Please please help me out.

Lot's of love,

RainydayB

P.s. My email is shown on my profile, at the very top of the page.


	6. Chapter 4

**Bella's POV**

I'd never thought I'd feel this happy again, especially after my disastrous eighteenth birthday.

Life had fallen into a pattern. Every morning, Alice insisted on coming over before school. Rosalie would come along – willingly, something I hadn't expected, despite our now less hostile relationship. She and Alice would stick with me as I moved around the house, talking and laughing. Talking with Cullen's was effortless, and I joined in easily. Right before we had to leave for school, they'd pick out something from my wardrobe, demanding I wear it.

I guess some habits never die.

School was more tolerable; I had at least one Cullen with me in every lesson – I suspect Rose had a huge part in it, considering the receptionist at school is a male.  
I found myself looking forward to lunch breaks more than I ever did.. Laughter, no question, was apart of every lunch break. Smiling, I remembered what had happened yesterday.

_After I sat down at our already full table, I noticed that Rosalie looked extremely angry._

"What's wrong, Rose?" I asked, fighting a smile. I'd guessed the reason behind Rose's pissed off mask.

She smiled at me, but her tone was still angry. "My dear husband forgot to use his brain, again. It's the eighth shirt I bought him that he had ruined during hunting! None of us ever ruin our clothes when we hunt." She fumed.

"Rose, baby, it was an accident." Emmett said, exasperated. Then his eyes widened as he realized what he had just done. "No I meant-" but the damage was done.

"Did you just, run out of patience with me?" Rose demanded.

"No, of course not! Rose, honey-"

"Don't you honey me!" Rosalie stood up, and stormed towards the door, Emmett at her tail apologizing. The remaining residence, me, Alice, Jasper and Edward looked at each other before we burst into laughter. 

I chuckled. Emmett and Rosalie; they really were perfect for each other.

Usually after school, I would go over to the Cullen's house, and spend time with them. Then I'd leave and go back to my lonely apartment at midnight unwillingly, much to everyone's displeasure.

They had offered to let me move in (what an understatement; Alice was practically begging me to move into the spare room next to hers), but I knew I wasn't ready yet. To me, it was still a big step. And I still wanted to keep enough space, so that when they leave again – I cramped my face in pain at the thought – I would be able to handle the pain.

How's Bells you may ask? Well, she's the same as always. She's delighted to be friends with the 'hot new kids'. According to Jasper, she had also developed a little crush on Emmett. Emmet scowled which made everyone else burst into laughter. Of course, it didn't help when Edward said out loud some of the dirty things Susannah was thinking. Alice only calls him 'Muscleman' now.

Edward is… well, Edward. We were just friends now. We had talked about it, and we both agreed that it was for the best.

_"Bella, can I please talk to you?" Edward asked his beautiful voice familiar. I sighed; after all these years, my heart still jumps when he walks into the room._

"Okay," I put my book down. I was at the Cullen's home again. Suddenly, I was nervous; I hadn't heard him walking into the room or noticed his scent. And I didn't know what he would want to talk to me about.

He sat next to me on the sofa, but gave me a few inches distance, and I was grateful. "First of all, I want you to know how sorry I am-"

"That's not necessary," I interrupted him with a forced smile. Now I knew what he wanted to talk about, I realized, panicking, that he will lead the topic to another area, an area that I never want to talk about. Before I knew it, I blurted out "Really, its fine. Just let go of the past. Why don't we start fresh? Let's be friends." There, I've said what he wanted to hear. He will be happy, and that's all that mattered. I felt the old wound thrashing around the edges, threatening to unleash itself. I took a deep breath, holding the wound in the place. I couldn't afford to show Edward my weakness; I didn't want him to pity me.

For a brief second, Edward looked sad. Heartbreakingly sad. And then he smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. "Of course Bella, whatever you want. I'm glad we're friends now. Excuse me," I watched him walk swiftly out of the room, and I was glad; I needed the chance to recover.

Gripping my middle, I inhaled deeply, taking in his strange honey and lilac perform. I expected the agony to flood me, but unexpectedly, the hole stopped thrashing.  
  
Up until now, I still can't justify his reaction or mine.

I sighed; it was a topic I didn't want to think about.. The doorbell rang; I rushed to answer it, thankful to whoever was visiting. This will surely make me think about something else.

I wasn't surprised when I saw Alice standing in the doorway. I smiled. "Hi Alice, what brings you here today?"

Alice pouted. "What, I can't visit my best friend just because I want to?"

I laughed. "Of course you can! I'm only joking Alice." A huge smile spread across her face. "Come in," I stepped aside to let her in.

Alice looked around at her surroundings, with a thoughtful expression on her face. Then, she clapped her hand together and looked at me with big, doe eyes. "Bella, how much do you love me?"

"A lot," I said carefully, appraising Alice's expression.

She began to pout. "Enough to let me and Esme renovate your apartment?"

I groaned. "But Alice, I really don't need to. This is a waste of money," I tried to reason. But it was a lost cause; Alice was using both of her "make-you-cave-in" advantages.

Her lips trembled. "Please?" she whispered. "For me?"

I groaned again. "Fine."

"Yay! I promise you'll like it." Despite my reluctance to her idea, I grinned. This is one of those things I loved about Alice. She can make anyone forget their troubles in an instant.

"Oh I have no doubt about that; Alice Cullen is on the job." I told her. She squealed as she gave me another hug. "Where's Rose?" Rose was also a frequent guest. It was as if she was determined to make up for her previous malice behaviors.

"She was going to come, but, uh, Emmett started something with her." Alice grimaced, probably having a bad mental image..

I wrinkled my nose. "Enough said."

She giggled. "Anyways, I was wondering if you want to go shopping."

I put my foot down. "I have enough clothes, besides" I added hastily before she opened her mouth "one big favor is enough for today! Don't push your luck missy," I playfully ruffled her hair. She poked her tongue at me.

"You can never have enough clothes, but fine. Let's watch a movie!" she ran into the living room, by the sounds of it, was setting up the DVD. I followed slowly, and by the time I sat on the couch, a movie was already playing. "This is one of Emmett's favorite films," she told me.

Two hours later, almost everyone in the movie died, the movie was finally over. "That was awful," I told Alice.

She grinned. "Well, I don't know. I thought it was alright. At least the hero didn't die." She pulled out her phone. "Hello Muscleman, that's fine you big baby. See you soon."

"You have to go," I guessed, trying to hide my disappointment.

She laughed. "Quite the opposite, Emmett is coming."

I was puzzled. "Why?"

"Because he is complaining on how unfair it is that only the girls get to visit you." Alice rolled her eyes. "Honestly, as if we get enough time with you! He's acting like we've got time to spare."

I laughed at her words. But, it touched me more than I liked to admit.

"Emmett's here," Alice said lazily. Surely, a second later, the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, someone – I can only assume its Emmett – picked me up and gave me his famous trademark – his bear hug.

"How're ya doing squat?" he said, after he put me down.

"I'm good, you know, it wasn't really that long since I last saw you," I said.

He laughed. "I know, but I've missed you."

"Careful, don't let Rose hear that." I joked.

"What shouldn't I hear?" said Rosalie as she came up to me and hugged me. "Hi Bella,"

I hugged her back. "Hello Rosalie, how are you?"

"Good thanks. What shouldn't I hear?" she smiled at me.

"Oh, Emmett was just joking about how much he missed me." I told her, a little nervous of what her reactions might be. To my relief, she laughed.

"Oh, he can only tell that to our friends and family without getting into trouble. And you're family," she said, smiling at me warmly.

"It's a good thing we can no longer cry, otherwise the room would be flooded with tears," Alice graced us with her presence as she joined us in the doorway.

"How would you know, Alice?" Emmett challenged.

Alice smirked. "I'm the one who can tell the future."

"Yes, but your visions are subjected to the variables, and since we can't cry, you wouldn't know for sure." Emmett grinned, probably thinking he'd gotten Alice there.

"Actually, I do. I just do, because, since I can tell the future, I'm the know-it-all. And if I'm the know-it-all, I would know what would happen!" Alice poked her tongue at him.

I laughed. Emmett and Alice bickering is also another favorite past time, although it's not as entertaining as watching Rose get mad at Emmett. Seeing Emmett was about to open his mouth again, Rosalie grabbed me by the arm. "Come on Bella," she said. "Let's go. Let's leave these children alone."

Emmett looked worried for a second. Then he laughed. "Well, you married me, so I guess I'm not as childish as you say, well, in parts and areas. Besides, I'm definitely not childish where _it_ counts," he winked at Rose.

Alice groaned and rubbed her eyes. "Too much information, Muscleman." Rosalie and I laughed.

"Well, I didn't come here today to argue with little Alice. I'm here to bond with my little sister, come on Bells, wanna get beaten in a game of Halo?" he grinned.

"Your funeral," then we all laughed at the irony.

"This was where I belonged," I thought in contentment. And I hope it would last. But life has never been a piece of cake for me. At times like this, it was hard to remember – or do – why I should keep the space between me, and the dearest people to me. I knew it wasn't okay to get attached now, because it would cost me a lot when they leave. But what else can I do?

**AN:** Sorry about the wait. Really. Huge writer's block, then school, then more school. Sorry.

But reviews do speed things up. So **reviews = update**. =]


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